Pure weight,

The salad grape,

The lost tune,

The immediate hate,

The dwindling hour,

Shed across a vast field of nowhereness in an empty scrum,

I am hurt,

She told me she loved me and then she left me,

She gave me a typewriter years later.

It didn’t work.

My stomach gurgles from the Epson salts.

Donald Trump on TV and the evil lives that hurting him are hurting us too.

It has been this way for a long time.

We all need to be saved but are we committed enough to our creator to stay stoic and active in our prayers?

Praying to have one day a life free from pain.

Pain is temporary and love is forever.

They gave me a broken typewriter.

The evil that are hurting my lover are still hurting me.

It has been this way for a long time.

Living a life in pain is not worth living.

I know.

The bane of this life.

Pain.

Caused by lies.

Ended by the truth.

It is easy to hate your fellow humans.

It is easy not to scrutinise why.

It is easy to hold grudges.

You will leave with another stain on your soul and you will not heal it, you will wear it like shame and guard it with pleasure.

The drug.

The addiction.

Face life head on.

Do not fear.

Buy a new typewriter and write a book.

Don’t leave out anything.

In my family there four people in it.

My mother (the youngest) is nearly seventy-four.

I am thirty-nine.

One day I will be alone.

I have a few friends.

I adore my family but one day they will be in another place and I will live with just me and my broken typewriter.

The pain of being denied what one needs.

A brother.

Friends.

Family.

A lover.

What a sad route.

One thing that I first learnt about demons was their resolve.

They have a stark resolve and will hurt you to a large concept.

I have never seen one remiss.

People get their name lambasted and get stabbed to death in jails for doing something wrong when they were young and get usurped and live a life of misery from birth to death never knowing the truth; the great beauty of life lived in love and love only.

Roared at by the television.

Deloused by its flickering frames as we die never asking for what we need over what we want.

Pain is blinding and you can get lost in it.

Demons.

The ones who do evil.

The enders of hope in these beautiful loving lives.

They show no signs of restraint dear life.

Sweet, wonderful loving life.

Love you need to pray.

Not once. Not twice but constantly and forever.

To God.

Not to Jesus or not to abide by some dogma but to pray to your creator.

He loves you.

He loves everyone and so do you.

Enough.

There has been enough pain.

It’s the same sky.

The same moon.

The same sun.

The same God that saw you raped beneath his crying hand.

The same pain.

The same torment.

Poor lives.

Suffering.

I remember you.

I sang ‘you live in the sea.’

I was made of elastic and you snapped me.

Life is and has been broken for a long time.

The sail rise she must.

What a sad world it really is.

People don’t understand what they need or want.

Being called a rapist you recoil.

You have done nothing wrong.

Either you have trailed a path or you haven’t, either way you are there/here.

And nothing is the same.

Again.

Blood crossed our palm and we are tethered ‘til we save ourselves from the black.

God save us.

We can’t do anything without you.

Feel the bloom of love in thy heart and know you are not alone.

Why is it this way?

Lies as frugal as the air itself.

Pumping out poison sin, from our lungs.

Dying of thy imagination.

Dead from the other deaths.

The one dog town.

Breeches breeched.

The last dog life.

And I am the only one without you.

I am purging demons.

Stiff for days.

It does not grow fast.

As my skin grows; yours does something without words.

Most pain can’t be described.

Love a fool and see them a genius.

Old friends.

Long gone.

What happens when I am not around?

Sometimes their life spills over into mine.

Always violence.

Real is evil.

Fiction is a drug.

Their words; bleeding from their mouths.

The tether shivers and the foil recoils.

Another appointment and another broken heart in my mind.

She skips so rosy.

The death of the youth.

The birth of defence.

A soldier again.

Not forgotten.

I sit alone every night.

I call this life.

You call this death.

Don’t kick out.

Do not test or play.

Look at where thinking this a game got you.

Nearly ten out of ten.

I will save you if you do one thing.

Don’t give up.

I will choose the saviours wisely.

I will pray for you but I need to pray with you.

A lump night’s sleep would be welcome.

But as they say; I am the enemy.

For being in love.

Being a poet.

Being a poet is like meth not alcohol.

I have known too many bastards.

Demons on the surface.

Meth on an empty table.

A ghost.

Nothing except memories and blood.

Don’t make them interesting as you take a large exceptional yawn.

Don’t fall back.

Don’t fall asleep as you are awake.

Don’t say yes.

In tears I talk but mainly listen to alcohol.

Running through the streets of your face.

They say everything I hear.

I hate to drink.

I hate drink.

Look someone dead in the eye.

Take a drink.

Boil every drop in your breath.

Neat – alcohol.

Raw life/death.

It either has no taste or you don’t taste anything.

Numbing.

Delousing.

Disturbing

A lie.

I don’t see you.

I don’t see anyone except God.

Together we cry.

How am I still alive?

Tender.

She swoons me through the speakers.

The speaker.

I die to meet her.

Bring life to planet Earth.

Nottingham streets.

Tinged with sadness.

Walking alone.

Friendly people.

In the middle of winter.

Julian’s flat so cold.

Dancing around tin foil.

Hearts recoil.

From the caves bodies boil.

The taxi driver toils.

Dreams of the old Nottingham.

Before the police moved in.

People forget.

You can’t beat the lines.

None of this is real.

This is a lie.

Police appear from nowhere and capture us.

Don’t drink.

As the city fills with alcohol.

The bareness encapsulates it and it becomes another Stoke.

Nobody is talking.

Nobody is moving.

Everyone is in the cry.

The wale.

The helpless snap that cannot be described by a hapless two tone poet.

That’s who I am today.

Thinking about trinkets.

Alone as always.

No one will deny their loneliness.

Their unhappiness.

Their anger.

But/yet most of all their pain.

A taken family member.

A trick played by a demon.

Every night spent alone.

All of us.

The forgiving music playing in the background.

The dig from the usurper.

The hanging on of the mother.

The prayer.

This is my life.

Everyday.

Always.

Pain.

I am not interested in most things.

I know where my soul sits.

It begs to be illuminated.

To see the great crest.

To eat the sun.

To scream at its own happiness.

To see an old friend coxed in fear.

I will not go if it eclipses my love.

My tongue still burns at thought of someone saying I am not.

Real burns.

The power of lies.

All they do is hurt people.

I am dying.

I am looking at your girlfriend and I know you don’t love her.

You are in the black crystal web.

We are all playing a part.

It hurts and it is tiring.

We should all be making loving instead we are getting dragged from one rape to the next.

Confidence.

The ability to do things without torment.

Without the stain of the spike.

As the demon lies. Our souls fry. And the moment dies.

This is not life.

This is waiting at station.

This is sleeping on the train.

This waking up at another attempt.

I want to go home.

I am sick of everything.

I have lost before I have started.

I have drowned with my head in a fish tank.

I feel God’s waves of love in my body.

I feel my heart bloom.

I have barely any memory.

It is a sin.

Blackberries.

Rhubarb.

Cherries.

Salt.

Lemons.

Fur balls.

The difficult twine.

These are my friends.

I am in the dead horse town.

The water seeps through my fingers on to the acid floor.

I fall to my knees and whisper to my hands ‘love is the truth,’ with clenched hands the tears skip past my aging face and find home in my chest parting ways with my head skipping down to where no one knows.

We find fire in sleep.

We find everything in sleep.

Too many people rocking.

Too many people joking.

It’s demons.

Again.

Here I am with all my secrets.

If I say them – who knows what will happen.

Arguments are contrived.

Hate is taught.

Lies are evil.

And here I sit.

In the foil of them all.

Never speaking.

Always talking.

Next.

Tomorrow.

Only God free.

Me.

A dog eared poster advertising cornflakes neith the grey and brown sky.

Never seeing something new. Just aching. Aching for a conversation.

All my loves.

All my dreams.

Soft like marshmallows and just as real.

What a burden to have dreams, to know that to find them I must stare evil in the eye and not go insane.

To know without them I will suffer.

I have no choice. I do not want one. I need them.

Without dreams we have nothing.

Some say it is a fool who follows dreams.

I say your life is nothing without them.

This cat sits next to me and all she asks for is love.

The dog half asleep downstairs.

The animals know something very few of us do.

Love unconditionally.

I lie dead in a living bed.

Nobody knows me.

Nobody cares.

Everybody wants a piece.

Nobody wants to give anything.

You cannot own something.

Exactly how does it mean to say this is mine and that is yours.

Where do you get your kicks?

It’s a dark road the one I am about to embark on.

So much to learn about life here on Earth.

Not the obvious.

Not what we’re told.

The truth.

Who are they?

What are they doing?

How do I help them?

I can’t wait for the sun.

And to help people.

I would love to see the world.

These demoms.

Pretending to be people they are not.

Evil fucking bastards.

They don’t just want kill you.

They want to end your everything.

They take over people’s bodies and steal their fucking souls.

People’s son, daughters. Seeing them as babies gurgling and saying ‘I love you,’ their own kids they kill them and leave the parents with nothing. Just memories and pain. Sometimes they fake their deaths and leave the families with secrets. No one can talk about it for fear of being insensitive. I have seen it. I have seen it. I have seen it.

I am a knot and my stomach hurts.

I am done.

Bring me back to life.

Because I am suffering.

And you are suffering.

And I want to die.

And you want to die.

The cat is fast asleep now.

My body hurts.

I miss Mariah.

Mariah was a muse of somewhat of mine that commit suicide about seven or eight years ago.

She was great.

A great, great life.

Intelligent. Big heart. Beautiful. – she had it all.

Individual. Artistic. Kind. The whole thing.

And one day she just went away.

I think the demons faked her death but hey she’s gone now.

I miss her.

We spoke about every other day.

Then the demons attacked me about ten years ago and we stopped talking. Next thing I knew her social media said she was gone. Dead.

What am I suppose to do?

Find someone new?

Start again?

Does nobody care about me?

Or you?

Why does nobody give a fuck when you need them?

I learned that from when my brother got taken.

Flowers around the house everywhere.

My mother lost.

Then there was a lot of visitors immediately after then after two days there was none.

Did they think we had gotten over it?

But that’s life and that’s demons and here we are all unhappy.

Well I don’t want be unhappy and I don’t want you to unhappy.

There has been too much pain and too much death to warrant the demise life here and anywhere else.

People are living a fucking misery twenty-four hours a day with no relent and they don’t know what to do to make it stop. I don’t care about money, I don’t care about anything but the future and prospectus of people who are getting lacerated, hurt and debased by evil from when they get to here to when they leave. It is demons, it is demons, it is demons. Usurping bodies. Taking over them and then doing despicable acts with these peoples bodies to make it look it is the person who is being attacked who is the one doing evil. You know it. I know it. But no one says a fucking thing and we keep going, suffering in silence getting berated and broken to the point where we get sucked into hell without even a sniff of the truth said about them, us or anyone. They fucking like it. Well I fucking don’t! That’s all they say when you ask a demon why they do this. They say ‘we like it.’

‘We like it.’

‘We like it.’

‘We like it.’

‘We like it.’

YOU’RE INSANE!

I call it stubborn.

They have fucked up so many times they fear they can’t go back or admit that they shouldn’t do what they are doing so they egg each other on to not go back and stop.

It is evil.

Fucking fools and they will kill this place and everything in it – rather than stop because it’s a long road back.

My friends. My family. The people I love are dying.

Worse.

They are getting suffocated, isolated and destroyed. All because they won’t pray.

The image of God has been cartooned as some guy with a beard who lives in the sky or the father of some freak name Jesus – whatever – they did this.

They lied about God so people would hate him.

God doesn’t inflict pain.

God doesn’t smite.

And doesn’t attack anyone.

God loves everyone.

Like we are meant to.

Love is unconditional and for everyone.

He is kindest most loving life you could ever meet.

If you pray he will answer just stay committed and argent in your prayers to him and he will answer you.

It’s the only way you are going to get your lives back if you pray to God.

Demons don’t give a fuck.

They will fuck you up – as far as they can.

Pray and don’t stop.

That is my only answer to pain.

Pray and don’t stop and learn from what you go through.

Do your best and you will get to the other side.

We’ve seen it.

What they do.

I once saw a man get ripped in two.

And other things.

We can do this.

We can end this misery.

But you have to listen to me and you have to pray.

Now is not the time for being afraid.

The Earth is dying.

It is not the time for hate or blame or anger.

It is the time for us to love and speak the truth.

With pursed lips she drank the wine and the wine entered her.

She felt it crack in her belly and she was home.

Or somewhere familiar.

She blinked slowly as and looked across the room.

A male figure stood there.

It was like a grey, brown and black haze as her eyes span past him.

She kept spinning as her eyes now faced the table with the figure behind.

‘Turn the music on,’ she said gripping her glass for a bit then releasing.

He didn’t say anything.

‘Or sing,’ her head drooped.

For a second she thought about the reason why she was drinking and got angry. Just for a second.

Her head lifted up.

‘So are you going to get the fuck out of here or am I going to have to leave..?’

She had met this man twice before and wanted to him to either fuck her or leave.

Is this the same planet I used to drink myself into stupor everyday and wake up tangled/untangled in a aching mess with my mind running wild. Same place.

Insanity.

Now if I drink I get decimated by demons and put my soul and my life in danger.

I really am sick of the game.

I have never looked into human eyes.

Nor heard a human word.

We are all suffering.

My mother and my aunt are watching a game show downstairs.

What is really going on?

The eternal question.

We learn more and more about it each day.

I met a beauty once.

I have not been the same since.

The footprints these bodies of love leave within us change the scape of our thinking and doing at all times.

I think of her often. Ife really is all about love.

The demons try to stop us.

Yes. There are people out there who try to stop us from falling in love.

For shame.

They don’t know us – yet they hate us.

For what we do.

Shallow.

And we fear these?

I know the pain.

These people can hurt you.

That they do know.

But as I say pain is temporary.

And their infliction comes to end at the learning of the truth.

Learn as much of the truth from God as you can and protect life.

Save it like the babe!

Don’t miss out on life.

Don’t let them torment you for another second.

Just pray and feel the love between you and God.

Get the demons the fuck off you and live your fucking life.

Oh God how I pine for my loves.

They fill me.

Nothing can take your places loves.

Nothing will turn my eye.

Nothing will let me not see you.

You.

You.

You.

Forever.

You.

The true taste of life with all its nuance and cadences.

The detailed clover in love’s field.

I beg to touch you.

To see you.

To see your mind in slow bloom.

At your speed.

At your perfect speed.

There are no sports.

There are no games and there are no winners in our love.

Just the water that flows and our eyes that never leave each others look.

It cannot be written, only silence can be heard.

Then. We tell each other the truth.

This connection is the only home of real life.

I will not leave.

I will not stop.

The rest?

Teach me.

I would die for love.

Without regret or remiss.

It is the only thing that means anything to me.

The rest is a lie.

My heart goes out to those who are possessed.

Not an hour alone.

Not an hour of rest.

Bereted since birth for a casually thought out death at some meagre whim.

I’m so sorry.

Try to focus on getting free.

We will be together one day.

All of life.

No more guns.

No more poisoning our foods.

No more bombs.

No more power.

No more money.

No more pain.

Money, governments and media are the demons real biggest evils of life here on Earth.

They try to limit what you can do.

One must rise above these bounds and end them.

The beauty of the arts can enlighten people.

Find solace in prayer and pray to and learn the truth.

Keep to love in mind at all times.

To play to the arenas.

Oh dream of dreams.

To play of clear and well thought mind.

This is living.

This is being alive!

To have people feel mine and Gods music in their hearts on a grand and echoing plain.

My mind is unfortunately clouded by demons but they are receding as the hours pass and I am becoming myself again!

I live for music.

It has always been my true love and now it is time for me to (with love and grace) bless the stages as the audiences blesses me with their ears, hearts and souls.

I used to pretend I was Freddy Mercury when I was young. Maybe three, four, five and put my whole spirit into encapsulating his vigour.

Now I have honed my own works.

Me and God have written some very special songs and I have never played them live but I am looking forward to the reception and the experience and the good we are going to do in the world.

We cannot fail.

The knock on effect of these concerts is going to be off the scale.

People’s lives changing.

The seedlings poking through.

People praying.

People listening to the music at home and sharing it with their loved ones.

People listening to the lyrics and absorbing them and who knows maybe writing their own songs with the same approach – getting closer to God and writing their own poems like this one – I cannot wait!

God; what happens when I am not around?

Another eternal question.

I have seen disgusting things.

Evil things.

Rape.

Murder.

Manipulation.

Like the key that turns they make us look like we sour.

People taken in by a shade of the seemingly true.

It is not the truth.

There is one truth that applies to everyone and thing.

It is not opinion.

I spend days trying to explain to people and all I get is lies.

The evil that has infected them is caging the too.

They are deloused to the point of being unresponsive.

I want to reignite these people.

I want to get them a life and end this vile evil that has infested their day and bring people back together.

Bring life back together.

It is misery.

They live alone and I am yet to talk to human.

My life is fixed.

I am happy to a point.

But you are in pain and I am going to help you.

All suffering is needless.

Everybody except me walks this life alone.

I don’t care about judgement.

Say what you like about me I am busy sorting out this evil fucking mess.

When I look into my mother’s eyes and I another being taken and taking over her body; I want too weep.

And scream.

And kill myself because she like everyone else is innocent.

Too weak, too young.

Taken over then paraded round this life with nothing but pain and confusion in her poor life.

I will end it.

She will be free.

Her and everyone else.

We don’t even fucking know each other you and I.

Yet we can’t even make eye contact on the street.

We have never even met.

Take back wYet the games have pitted us against each other.

Delusion can make us violent.

I have been violent.

I have kicked people their faces as hard as I can.

I have punched people in the face as hard as I can and yes I am ashamed but I was driven to it by demons.

Delousing me.

Souring me.

Manipulating me.

Driving me fucking crazy to the point where I was completely tormented but not as bad as you.

You have been deloused, crazy and in pain your whole lives. I am not blind to this.

I have been taken over twice. Once for a day and half. Once for about a minute and a half.

I prayed and God freed me.

One honest prayer and he got me my life back.

You have been through this from birth without a day off.

YOU DESERVE A FUCKING LIFE!

This place is not about suffering it is about love.

Love and you will be freed.

Only love.

Let it be your water.

Let it clean you and fill you.

And be full.

Tell the truth.

And be with the ones you love.

Love.

Don’t put a limit on it.

Love as much as you can.

Take back what has been taken from you.

Take it and never look back.

Be happy.

Be fulfilled and never stop.

And I will see you there.

On the great crest of your dreams.

Fulfillment.

Happiness.

And love.

Feel God’s love swirl around your body.

Feel it beat in your heart.

Feel it rumble your soul.

Be happy.

Re-establish your relationship with God.

He loves.

He will never leave you.

He will listen to you every time.

He will protect you.

He will guide and educate you.

He will love you.

You will be closer to God than anyone.

He will you heal you.

If you have pain in your heart he will heal it with love and you will feel beautiful blooms of it there and around your body and through your veins.

This is real.

This is my life and I am happy – I just can’t stand seeing people who I love suffering.

I love them.

And their pain is my pain.

And when they suffer I suffer.

That’s why I am writing this.

To free life.

Forget about money.

Forget about work.

Forget about education and be free.

If you have done something that you believe to be wrong what are you going to do? Punish yourself forever? It may not have been your fault. It may of been because of demons. Don’t feel the pain of being judged by people. They will understand. What are they going to hate you forever? No. The demons are trying to isolate you. So they can batter you with blame and hate. They want you to be alone.

So close they say it.

The pun.

The song by Canned Heat ‘Let’s work together.’

Evil.

We’re not meant to ‘work.’

But they say let’s do it ‘together,’

Let’s ‘work’ ‘together.’

As if they are saying let’s do things together.

But work.

Like we have some kind of unity in ‘working’ together.

Let’s be together. Yes.

Let’s love together. Yes.

But work?

They do this all the fucking time.

Slogans. Songs. Poems.

Even in the TV shows.

Making the liar look enviable in the plot.

Making him look like a lovable rogue.

Making him look good.

Lying is the worst thing you can do.

People who lie attempt control people.

They miss the mark.

Purposefully.

And people get eaten alive.

It is EVERYWHERE!

Write a song.

Start a revolution.

Tell the unabashed truth and free people.

Except for God I live alone.

Everyday.

I am free but I would love to talk to another human.

It kind of sours you when you spend so much time alone. Craving a touch or a kiss. Missing words of truth. Knowing this person talking to me is not who is talking to me. It gets you down. Suicidal. It’s hard.

As I said I am thirty-nine now and I need sort this out.

It’s a dark life at the moment.

Too dark.

I am trying to make everyone happy. And bring about only love in their lives. And it is hard but I owe it to them and God for being such great people.

I really love life and I love all lives in it.

There is such beauty in all of us how can we not love everyone?

The demons really are trying to take everything and giving nothing back.

Without evil we can all live here in happiness and never suffer for another moment.

We need pull together in right direction and we can truly have a perfect life.

Love to everyone.



Gavin.